It’s 5am Thursday as I begin this. My Chemo buddy pump hugs me on my left side, tethered by an IV tube to my chest. The Block Center uses a delivery method called chrono-modulated. Developed in France it uses the capacity of computer/pump to time the delivery of the chemo drugs. They have found this to significantly reduce side effects. Standard treatment would be to turn the pump on and it pumps a regular dose for 46 hours. C-M method puts the pump to work at 10pm and takes advantage of the body at rest. It even changes dosage through the night based upon sleep cycles, shuts down at 10am Thursday, back to work at 10pm then done by about 10am Friday. Lonni will do the disconnect at home and then give me my standard $5000 shot (price is up)!
This is one of the approaches the BC uses in their very deliberate efforts to limit side effects. Do these efforts work? The antidotal reports from the other patients who have taken chemo elsewhere seem to clearly say yes. Given this is my first experience; I have no comparison base personally.
This treatment trip my good friend, Jim Hallene, replaced my best friend, Lonni, as my driver and companion. I've known Jim for years and we both are part of the Chicago Fellowship, a group of Christ-followers journeying together to include regular Friday am bible studies, trips to Honduras for work times at several orphanages, breaking bread, accountability, etc. The group has fed my soul and blessed my life and ministry.
Jim has been a blessing in my life, but particularly now. I don’t think he would mind if I share this email he sent me after I had received the diagnosis:
Glen: You have been in my prayers a lot over the past years and daily over the last month. I pray that the God of Comfort gives you comfort like you have never experienced before; that the God of Peace gives you His peace that passes any understanding you can fathom, and the God of Healing heals your body, mind and soul.
In 1992, my dad had an attack in his office. He was rushed to the hospital and told he had stage 4 sarcoma of the kidney. The doctors told us he had six months to live. Well, almost 13 years later as he was in his final stages, he said cancer was the best thing that had ever happened to him...and he meant it. He said he would not trade the spiritual truths he learned or the tangible examples of body of Christ in action.
Glen, you are starting a journey that I so very much want to be a part of with you. I would love to come and see you when you have time. I wish I could be at Fellowship with you tomorrow but I am traveling. Please know that I will be praying for you during your talk.
I love you, Brother Glen. You are a more of a blessing than you will ever know!
Jim
I am beginning to understand the mystery in Jim’s Dad statement about cancer. There is a “gift side” to affliction that one can receive no other way. I’m sure many of you have experienced something similar, and we say things like, “I would never want to go through it again but I … (fill in the blank.)
For instance, and Jim/Lonni would amen this enthusiastically, it is an amazing thing to spend these Wednesdays in the company of people so committed to healing – while fighting against such long odds. They simply do not submit to statistical diagnosis. And often this hope shows much better results. Everyone believes in the body’s ability of heal – not just "extend life" and hang on for a few more years or months. If the goal is healing, then hope is promoted and we believe it is possible. (I told Mrs. Block -- "You guys traffic in hope") We believe it is again possible to dream of graduations and weddings for grandchildren, growing older with my life-long love, etc. These dreams the dark early days of diagnosis stole away. Those long hospital nights post surgery are fearful and very, very lonely. The valley of the shadow of death… whew, well said a long time ago.
So there you have my low point! And since then I’ve seen God’s grace woven throughout this journey in so many amazing ways. Here is one:
As I said earlier our little guy, Cy 7yrs, was taking this hard. He has lost five family members in four years. He was in his own valley of death as he feared I would not come home from the hospital. The glow on his face, the hugs and kisses when I did emerge, was a priceless gift. But I was weak and fragile – hugs and touches were very light. Ah, but the marvel of the healing body. This Monday night when I put Cy to bed (a lengthy routine) he asked – “can we wrestle?” (a long established and beloved routine – and extended tickle match really – that had been suspended.) My knee-jerk response was, “no, I’m not…”, then I stopped and took stock – “Yes we can, I’m recovered from surgery”, immediately going in for a fast take-down, tickle tackle and quick pin. I cannot begin to describe the happiness, belly laughter and complete joy that emanated from that boy! It is priceless. Downstairs I told Lonni and she recounted Cy's prayer from the night before: "And God I pray that Daddy would get better so we could do the things we used to do." My goodness, was God on time? Did his spirit interrupt me and whisper (Yes you can!) It is a gift I will treasure as long as my memory endures – how does it get better than that? But, remember, is was a special gift that only affliction produced.
Well life is stirring around here and I will soon take Cy to school – back to Thursday routines!! Yay! Chemo buddy and all. I hope to post soon again to talk about the chemo day and integrative care as I am experiencing.
Blessings my faithful friends and family.
No comments:
Post a Comment